A little privacy, please.

Like pretty much everyone else on the planet, I prefer to be left alone in the bathroom. No one else needs to be present for anything that goes on in there, whether it’s showering, flossing, or doing any of that other stuff that people do in bathrooms. I believe that bathroom time is private time, but of course my dickhead cats disagree….especially Isis. Ironically enough, the only time she ever wants any fucking attention from me is when I’m in there. If I’m in any other room in the house, she makes a point of either leaving or positioning herself so that her back is to me. But god forbid I try to keep her out of the bathroom; any attempt to shut the door against her is met with her dramatically throwing herself against the door whilst yowling.

If I’m in the shower, she sits on the edge of the tub and stares at me. If I’m standing at the counter, she will stand ON the counter and try to climb up my torso. And if I’m on the toilet, this bullshit happens:

Naturally, I had previously come to the conclusion that Isis knows that I am at my weakest when in the bathroom and thus sees it as the perfect opportunity to murder me. Just look at those soulless blue eyes. She’s just too goddamn small and hasn’t figured out how to off me yet. Of course, this theory was somewhat called into question today when Catherine texted me this photo:

Now most of you have probably never been to Catherine’s apartment. Or maybe you have, I don’t really ask what she does in her spare time. Anyway, I can tell you from firsthand experience that this is the view of the bathroom counter you have when you sit on her toilet. So maybe Isis is not plotting my demise while I’m….well, you know what I’m doing. Maybe all cats do shit like this to be obnoxious and to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible when you really just want to be left alone. Either that, or Catherine’s big stupid white cat is trying to take her out too.

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