Where the hell do you think you’re going?

I’m leaving for the UK and France tomorrow so naturally I put off packing until about 10 minutes ago. I generally hate everything to do with packing….I hate deciding what I’m going to wear days in advance, I hate trying to tetris it all into as few bags as possible, I definitely hate feeling like I’m forgetting something (and I usually am), and I would really just rather watch tv and drink beer and just buy new shit to wear when I get wherever the fuck I’m going.

My hatred for packing is compounded by the fact that cats are a total pain in the ass when you’re trying to pack. Typically, these are the thoughts that go through a cat’s tiny brain when it sees you packing:

  • Why the fuck aren’t you paying attention to me?
  • Seriously, I’m right here climbing up your leg. PAY ATTENTION TO ME.
  • Maybe if I stand right in the middle of this giant cat bed you will pay attention to me.
  • Holy shit, this is a suitcase.
  • WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO FEED ME WHILE YOU’RE GONE?????????????????
  • Whatever, it’s cool. I don’t care where the fuck you go. You’re not my real mom anyway. P.S. You shouldn’t pack those shirts because they make you look totally fat. (This is the passive aggressive phase after I’ve thrown him out of the suitcase.)
  • Look how much I don’t care that you’re leaving. (This thought is accompanied by an attitude of nonchalance and lots of bored yawning and laying right under my feet and doing this..whatever the hell this is):
  • Oh sweet, you made a giant cat bed for me.

I would also like to take this opportunity to point out how freaking huge these two are. The bed in the guest room (pictured above ) is a full size bed. The suitcase takes up half the bed. ONE CAT TAKES UP THE WHOLE SUITCASE.

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