I’m in Paris right now, and like every other douchebag hipster American tourist I visited Le Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise this afternoon. So there I was, admiring the view of the Eiffel Tower in the distance and taking photos to put on facebook for the sole purpose of making my friends jealous when I saw this asshole right here:
Being a crazy cat person, I immediately uttered a high-pitched “KIIIIIITTTTTTYYYYY” (cats just love it when you do that, by the way) and tried to pet her. The result was her running away, because cats are dicks and only like to be touched on their terms.
She stood a few feet away from me, just beyond reach (see Catherine’s post on how cats are always just out of reach) and would move away any time I came closer. Finally I stopped trying to pet her and turned my attention back to the cemetery, which of course resulted in her wanting attention because cats are dicks who only want you to love them when you are busy doing something else.
Cats Are Such Dicks 