Cat people are such dicks.

Let me clarify something. Despite the fact that Catherine and I own cats who are total dicks and who behave like complete assholes, we do not hate our cats. And we definitely did not create this blog to showcase how much we hate our cats’ dickish antics. It’s actually the complete opposite. We are cat people through and through, and we love the hell out of our douchebag cats. And even though it’s usually a huge inconvenience to us, we really do enjoy the fact that they behave like assholes. Being a pretty big jerk myself, I respect the hell out of anything that just doesn’t give a fuck and does what it wants 100% of the time. If anything, I’m fucking jealous of my cats because unlike them, I don’t have the luxury of behaving like a total dick and doing whatever the fuck I want whenever I want.

However, I can and will buy a hat that makes me look like a complete asshole and then I can and will wear it while I wallow around the house and get drunk and pretend like it’s my caturday:

And because she is also a cat person who loves cat-inspired shit and who also doesn’t give a fuck if it makes her look like an asshole, Catherine will do the same:

We are such dicks.

Cats don’t let blinds obstruct their view.

This is Milo; he belongs to my friend Allison. While I don’t really want to feature other people’s dick cats on our blog, I don’t think this really counts since Allison and I are convinced that Milo and my cat Ernest are actually the same cat…he just travels between our houses using some magical portal I have yet to find….

Anyway, anyone who owns cats knows that they love to sit and stare stupidly out of windows. And anyone who owns a cat who is a dick (which are pretty much all cats except cats who are super old and/or cats who only have three legs) knows that dick cats hate the shit out of blinds. Milo is clearly a dick and will destroy anything that gets in the way of him staring stupidly out the window.



Cats don’t give a shit.

So my good friend Jamie was a kind person this summer and took in this stray kitten, to be named Olivia Betsey Cohen. Olive for short.

When she got Olive, she was tiny. I’ve seen bigger rats. None of us were really sure she was going to live…but oh boy did she.

Jamie relocated to LA at the end of the summer. So Olive has taken on a new Cali-mentality. She does what she pleases when she pleases and where she pleases.

Exhibit A:


That’s Olive. Peeing in the sink. PEEING IN THE SINK, people.