If you know only one thing about life, it’s that duvet covers are bigger dicks than cats. The comforter never fits right. It always starts sliding around NO MATTER HOW TIGHT YOU TIE THOSE TIES. They’re just really goddamn stupid and I break a sweat every time I put one on my comforter.
I tell you that, to tell you this. When you throw cats into the goddamn mix, shit gets infinitely more difficult.
Cats are born, and live their entire stupid cat lives, thinking humans exist solely to entertain them, feed them, and buy them things. Everything we own is theirs. Everything we own will be played with/in/on/under/over/next to, to include duvet covers.
It’s cool guys. I definitely bought you a new place to sit your fat cat asses, and not a duvet cover for my bed.
–Catherine
Cats Are Such Dicks 