Attempts to steal my David Yurman necklace, probably to sell on the internet in order to procure funds to hire someone to kill me.
Holds owner hostage. Attempts to prevent communication with the outside world.
Realizes his previous attempt to sever owner’s ability to send a distress signal has failed. Tries new tactic.
Attempts to control owner through food deprivation; learned on the internet that starvation tactics may make his hostage more cooperative.
No explanation required.
Watches an internet video of a blind kitten playing with his first toy. TRIES TO STEAL TOYS FROM A BLIND KITTEN.
ATTEMPTED MURDER.
Cats Are Such Dicks 