Cats are even jealous of Christmas.

We’ve established so far that our cats hate when we do stuff that doesn’t center around their fat lives. Like, reading, going to the bathroom, trying to sleep. These assholes are even jealous of Christmas.

After a less than enjoyable day at work, I decided that stopping at Hobby Lobby and loading up on glitter-covered Christmas crap was just the ticket. I even had such a skip in my step when I left that I donated a dollar to that guy ringing the bell with the red bucket. And that’s saying something because I normally pretend to be on the phone and avoid them.

I get home and start decorating and I kid you not, not 10 seconds after I finished a display on my table, this asshole was up to his old tricks.


This picture probably looks pretty innocent to you. Just a curious cat checking new shit out. Wrong. Then he does this:


That picture should tell you two things. I’ll be chasing him off that table every day for the next two months. AND he’ll be puking glitter and beads all holiday season long.

Tis the season.