why are cats such dicks – Cats Are Such Dicks

November 12, 2012November 12, 2012

If not made for sits, why made of warm?

I’ve been through this before. Cats like to sit in the most unwelcoming of places: sinks, stoves, suitcases, on cell phones, in front of remote control sensors for TVs, arm rests, on pillows when you’re trying to lay on them, books and magazines when you’re trying to read…the list is endless. Basically, cats are saboteurs of all things humans enjoy.

Browning’s favorite spot to lay is on my computer. More specifically, only on my computer when I’m actually trying to get shit done. He never notices it exists otherwise.

And yeah, you can’t really tell, but I was definitely looking at cat GIFs before I was so rudely interrupted.

November 21, 2011

Your blinds? These are my blinds and they’re in my way.

So, recently I had to make a call to my apartment complex’s office because two sets of my mini blinds needed to be replaced. I claimed it was because they were made brittle by the sun, but it’s really because my cats love to stare stupidly outside my windows, and there’s really nothing they’ll let prevent them from doing so.

I pull up tonight after a shit day at work, and notice this asshole sitting in my bedroom window. I come inside because sure as shit I know he’s messed up my blinds. I pull back my curtains and find this:

Then he’s proud enough to show me his handiwork, because I OBVIOUSLY CAN’T SEE WHAT HE’S DONE.